Go Through Him
by cloudyailin
Summary: Oneshot. Set during Blood Promise. Alternate version of Rose handling the Viktoria/Rolan situation. A bit more violent - but that's how we like Rose.


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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I wrote this scene because I just couldn't bear how it all went down. I felt like there was so much potential there, untapped depths to be explored in her relationship with Dimitri's family and in her decisions during this point in the story. I wanted to show that even though Rose is messed up right then, she's still a person who is trying to do right and be strong. She hasn't given up on who she is. I wanted to portray her as a character who doesn't have to be forced back on to course, but chooses it. I want her to start fighting again - both for Dimitri's family and for her promise to him. I want her to step up - even through the weight of the darkness she's been carrying, even through the pain and grief, even through Abe's attempted manipulation. I want to see her figuring her shit out, because that's what Rose does.

Italics are from the book - a recap to help place this in the story. The scene splits from the original where the italics end.

Also, not beta-ed. If you see an error (grammar, spelling, continuity, etc.), please let me know. Thanks.

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_Abe studied me for several seconds, his dark eyes narrowed thoughtfully. I could practically see the wheels of plots and world domination spinning in his head. At last he said, so quietly I could hardly hear him, "It won't end with them, though."_

_"Who?"_

_He pointed at the door. "Viktoria and Rolan."_

_"What are you getting at?"_

_"You know what I'm getting at. She thinks she's in love with him. He knows she'll be back in school tomorrow. Tonight's his last chance with her, and he won't waste it. There are lots of bedrooms in there. They're probably in one right now."_

_I tried to control my breathing. "Then I'll go tell her mother."_

_"It'll be too late. She'd never find them in time, and tomorrow, Viktoria will be on her way to school-and he'll have no interest anymore. What can her mother do after the fact? Ground her?"_

_I was getting angry, largely because I had a feeling he was right. "Fine. Then I'll drag her off myself."_

_"That'll never happen. She wants to do this. She won't leave with you. Even if she did, she'd just find him again."_

_I eyed him. "Enough. You're obviously hinting at something, so just get on with it."_

_He smiled, apparently pleased at my astuteness-or maybe my bluntness. "If you want to save her, you've got to go through him. Through Rolan."_

_I scoffed. "Not likely. The only way he'd leave her alone is if I offered to take her place." And hey, friendship only went so far._

But Abe's words struck a chord in my mind. I turned away as my thoughts spun back to a night months ago.

_Go through him_.

I recalled the night Dimitri had caught me in the lounge with Jesse Zeklos. Dimitri had burst in, raging like a storm, and dragged Jesse away from me.

At the memory, I smiled. An angry smile. Rolan was trying to take advantage of Viktoria. He deserved what was coming to him.

Done with Abe, who was watching my distant expression with interest, I turned to the door.

Abe's hand on my arm stopped me. Remembering his guardians, I held myself back from grabbing that hand and throwing Abe to the ground. It would have been all too easy - a reflexive move after so many years of self-defense training.

"Let me go," I said, my voice calm. I could take him. And I was pretty certain I could take his guardians afterward. Or maybe I was just being reckless. I knew I'd been pulling a lot of darkness from Lissa.

"You're not going in there," he answered, and there was a startling touch of desperation to his voice.

"Yes, I am. I'm not leaving Viktoria in there with that piece of shit."

"I'm not going to allow you to take her place. You're better than that."

He didn't know what had gone through my head. He was still focused on my last words.

And now I was focused on his. _Better than that_. Like he had some idea of who I was.

I ripped my arm firmly from his grasp. "You don't know me."

He answered with that mysterious mastermind air of his, "I know more than you think."

My anger at him, at Rolan, at this place, it was bubbling up. I was going to lose my temper if I wasn't careful.

I tried to modulate my voice, but there was a growl there. "If you knew me, then you'd know I have no intention of taking her place. And you'd know that I'm _also _the kind of person who can be a good friend or a bad enemy," I quoted his words back to him. "Getting in my way is never a smart idea."

I looked him dead in the eye. His hand dropped away. "I'm going in there," I told him. "I'm going to find Viktoria. I'm going to make sure Rolan understands my wishes. And then I'm going to take Viktoria home to her family. I suggest you don't try to stop me. Help me, or stay the hell out of my way."

He actually stepped back, and I was pleased to see I'd startled him.

I turned my back on him. If he or his guardians tried to take me now, I'd make sure they'd regret it at the very least.

None of them moved on me as I pulled my hair up and took my coat off. I draped the coat over my arm, and hesitated before my next move. Gingerly, I took off the silver healing ring and slid it into my pocket. I didn't need the peace it brought me. I needed the darkness.

This was reckless. No plan, seat of my pants, winging it - however you wanted to call it, it was dangerous. I'd spent so much time in the past months being trained and instructed in discipline, control, strategy. They'd been trying to teach me that there were better ways than the utter recklessness I was accustomed to. But everything I'd survived and accomplished so far was without planning. It was how I functioned. Just spontaneous, split-second decisions. No time to second guess. Just trust your instincts and go with it. Sometimes it was the better choice.

_Don't hesitate._

The dhampir guarding the door opened it for me. I thanked him, then knocked him out and stole the gun from his waistband.

I found Abe and his two guardians close behind. "In my way or out of my way?" I asked as I checked the magazine and chamber.

"You are a troublesome thing."

I gave a dark grin. "It's part of my charm."

There was a desk just inside the door where the hallway split. Dance floor and a bar one direction, a hallway of doors in the other. I turned to the receptionist. "Rolan Kislyak. Where is he?"

"I'm sorry, I can't give out that information."

I laid the gun on the desk. The barrel wasn't pointed at her, but it got me her full attention. "He brought my underage sister in here. Do you really want to waste my time?"

Her voice was soft. "I don't-"

"Tell me where he is," I ordered calmly. "It won't come back to you. He'll be too busy dealing with me."

She whispered a number and pointed down the hall.

"Thank you. I'll make it quick as I can."

I turned, and I heard her gasp. I glanced back, and saw that her gaze had fixed on my bare neck. Her eyes flickered back to my face, wide and wondering. I touched my finger to my lips and she nodded, dropping her gaze resolutely back to her desk. Even in this place, I held respect.

I was so used to covering up my molnija marks, hiding what I'd done and who I'd become. This was no time for hiding. This was who I was.

I headed down the hall to the eighth door. It was locked, but a swift kick was enough to deal with that.

The room was pretty swank. Nothing but the best for the men who brought their dates here.

Rolan and Viktoria had been making out on the bed, but jumped apart when the door burst in. I didn't hesitate. Seeing him there with her spiked my rage even further.

After dropping my gun and coat to the floor, I hauled Rolan off the bed and threw him soundly into the wall. Voices in the hallway told me my loud entrance had not gone unnoticed by the patrons in the neighboring rooms. Faintly, I heard Abe handling it.

He was not here to talk down Viktoria though. She'd been startled by my attack, but now she shrieked at me, "Rose! What are you doing?!"

"Stay where you are, Viktoria. I need you to trust me. Like you would trust Dimitri."

Even as I spoke, my gaze was on Rolan. He didn't like it, and I could see the fear growing in him as I stalked closer. He scrambled to get up, but I was already on him. I shoved him into the wall, holding my arm against his throat. He fought uselessly, his face turning red, and he began gasping. He couldn't get his feet under him, couldn't pry my arm from his throat, couldn't push me away with all his flailing, and couldn't call out for help.

I waited a few seconds, until he finally passed the point of panic.

"Stay where you are, Viktoria," I ordered, hearing her move on the bed.

To Rolan, I directed just as calmly, "Look at me."

His eyes shot to my face.

"I'm going to ask you a question now. I expect an honest answer. If you lie to me, I will put your head through this wall. I will enjoy it. You will not."

He started to shake.

"Did you get Sonya Belikova pregnant?" I asked, then let up on his throat just a little.

"Yes!" he choked out.

Viktoria inhaled sharply.

I turned to look back at her. She was sitting upright now, focused on Rolan, confusion and hurt spinning on her face.

"Have you been with other women while you were courting Viktoria?" I continued.

"Yes."

"And when Viktoria went off to school tomorrow, did you intend to see other women?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

"No."

That was all I needed. I held him there and looked back at Viktoria again.

She was in shock. "You- you . . ."

"He lied to you," I confirmed for her, knowing she was too lost to put it into words right now. I needed her conscious of what was happening, so I did it for her. "He took advantage of your trust, your innocence, your kind heart. He used you. Because he wanted to. Because he could."

There was a ball of hate in my gut, but I pushed through it, telling her what she needed to hear. "He betrayed you. Like he did your sister. He would have taken what he wanted, then tossed you away. He would have bragged to his friends about you. Another conquest for him. Like you were a prize he'd won. A thing."

I saw the fury build in her.

"That feels better, doesn't it?"

She met my eyes, and an understanding passed between us.

"You may hit him once and speak a few last words to him. Then you're going to put your coat on, and walk out of here with your head high and your back straight. Wait for me outside and we'll head home."

She nodded in agreement.

"Take a second. Decide. Fix this moment in your head. You'll remember it forever. Decide who you are. Who you want to be. It's your choice."

She sat and I waited for her. Beneath my arm, Rolan was breathing heavily, but silent. Apparently he was aware that his protests would mean nothing, and would only earn my anger.

When Viktoria finally rose to her feet, I stepped back to give her the room she needed. "You're lucky Rose came," she told Rolan, "If you'd broken my heart after I'd given myself to you, I would have hunted you down and killed you by inches. It would have been exquisite." She ended things with a solid punch to his face. I thought that would be it, but she turned around and kicked him hard in the groin. "That was for my sister." While he groaned in a heap on the floor, she slipped into her coat and walked out.

I was so proud of her.

I waited with Rolan until he recovered. When his eyes lost that dazed look and regained some focus, I told him in a conversational tone, "Now, her brother Dimitri was much better at this sort of thing. Believe me. If he were here in my place, he would let you know not to come back and then he would let you run. I always admired his self-control. He wouldn't have gone any farther than necessary."

I bent down and stared into Rolan's eyes. "I'm not him."

That glint of hope was extinguished, and there was only fear left. I slammed my fist into his gut four or five times. I wasn't counting. I was just looking to do some damage and it felt really good.

Those few hits were enough for me. He wasn't worth any more.

"Rosemarie."

I glanced up from my contemplation of the damage I'd done. Abe was standing in the doorway.

I waved my hand, making it clear to him I was done with Rolan. "Anything you want to add?"

"He will not be back. He will have nothing to do with Viktoria or the Belikov family. He will never come here again. Am I clear?" Abe directed to Rolan.

Rolan nodded deliberately, though the movement looked painful.

I collected my coat and gun, then left the room, not wanting to think about Rolan anymore. Abe followed me, asking, "Are you done here?"

I wiped my hand clean and slipped the silver ring back on. This time, I could feel its effect on my mood. It mellowed me out. "I'm done with him. I'm done with this place."

Abe nodded. "I'll see to it that this is cleaned up."

I paused there in the hallway, turning to him. "Thank you for your help."

There was something different in his expression. Respect, maybe. His next question didn't carry the same note of demand and expectation as the ones before had. "May I call on you later?"

I shrugged. "I won't be around for long."

His gaze sharp, he asked, "You're headed home then?"

I didn't nod, but I answered with an affirmative tone, "I don't belong here. And I have promises to keep."

He didn't need to know those promises. Those promises were the reason I couldn't go home.

He accepted it, seeming to take it as face value. Like everyone in the world, he heard what he expected. "Then my business here is done," he said. "I wish you the best." He handed me a business card with only a phone number printed on it. "My number. If you require any additional help getting home, please call me."

I tucked the card into my pocket. "Sure thing, old man."

An amused smile touched his lips. "You won't call, will you?"

I grinned back. "Not even if I was fighting off ten Strigoi."

"Because you don't trust me, or because you aren't the type to ask for help?"

"More the second. When I get into trouble, I figure it out. It's easier that way. But I _don't _trust you," I hurried to add.

He laughed. "Goodbye, Rose. Good luck."

"Thanks." I turned and left.

Viktoria was waiting for me outside the door. The bouncer had been replaced, and the new one gave me a wary look. I held out the stolen gun, grip first. "Give this back to your colleague? Along with my apologies."

He looked disgruntled, and a little exasperated, like I wasn't supposed to apologize. I think he rolled his eyes as I was turning away.

Viktoria and I started walking without saying anything.

"Thank you," she said when we were halfway back to her house. Her voice was steady, but I could hear it in her voice - tonight had shaken her to the core.

"It was what Dimitri would have wanted. On the other hand, he was always encouraging me to solve my problems without violence. He might have considered this going overboard."

"What happens now?" she asked.

_Good question._

"Abe Mazur told Rolan to go away. That he wasn't supposed to talk to you or go near you again," I explained. "I'm pretty sure Rolan's going to leave Baia for good."

"Good. I don't want to see him again."

We walked on, and we had only a couple blocks to go when I told her. "I'm proud of you. For keeping yourself together. Most girls would have been a mess. You did real well."

"I should have never been in that situation. I knew better. How did I let this happen?" she cried.

I stopped her then, and guided her to sit down on the curb where she lasted for three seconds before bursting into tears. I hugged her and held her close while she cried.

"You're going to be all right," I whispered. "I know it sucks right now, but it'll be okay."

After she'd run out of tears, we sat on the curb for awhile. I held the silence, waiting for her.

"I feel like an idiot."

I nodded. "Everyone does sometimes. Believe me. I've been there. I hope you learn quicker than I did though. I was an idiot for years and years."

She managed a bit of a smile, but I knew she needed more. "You'll get through this. It'll hurt. And you'll heal. And you might forget about Rolan, or you might carry him with you. But you'll take a chance on someone else someday. You keep taking chances until you find the right one. One who's worth it. One who's worthy of you. One who understands you and won't take advantage of you. A good man. Hold out for that. Hold on for that."

She nodded and wiped her eyes again. There was a tissue in the pocket of her coat and she used it to wipe away as much of the make-up as she could.

"Good?" I asked.

She nodded bravely, and with her head held high, we got up and walked back home.

Karolina was still up, having just changed Zoya for bed. She took one look at Viktoria and knew something was wrong. "What happened?"

"I was an idiot. And Rose had to save me."

There was shame in her voice. She didn't want to admit her mistake, but knew it would have to come out. She glanced at me, a silent plea in her eyes. "Go change," I directed her.

She ran off without a second thought.

I held Zoya, rocking her to sleep while Karolina put on tea. I gave her the briefest possible rundown on what had transpired, not saying anything about Sonya, because that wasn't mine to bring up.

"I'm glad you were there, Rose," Karolina said.

Olena came downstairs, pulling a cardigan on over her pajamas. "I heard Viktoria thundering up the stairs. Why is she home so early?" She glanced between me and Karolina, noticing that something had transpired. "What happened?"

"Viktoria had a boyfriend. She was going out with him instead of going to Marina's party. She let me come with, to meet him. He was a Moroi, and tried to make plans with me the second her back was turned. I had a bad feeling about it, so I followed them and threatened him. He told the truth, that he was just using Viktoria."

"Oh, dear."

"He won't bother her again. It's done. She's upset, but she'll get through it. She handled it well."

"What's all the fuss?" Sonya asked, joining us in the kitchen, rubbing at her belly.

"Rose stopped Viktoria from going too far with a bad guy," Karolina explained.

I looked at Sonya, and decided it was better to say something before Viktoria came back down. "His name was Rolan Kislyak."

It took a few moments of shock, but it sank in, and when it did, Sonya's eyes filled with tears. She wavered on her feet, gripping the back of a chair to steady herself. "Oh, God. This is all my fault."

I hurried to reassure her. "It's all right. She's fine. You didn't know."

"Is he the one . . .?" Karolina realized.

Sonya hung her head, nodding miserably. She breathed deep for several seconds, then raised her head, a fire burning in her eyes. "If he hurt her, I will kill him."

"She's fine. And the killing thing . . . well, you'd have to find him first. It's been a half-hour; he's probably already on his way out of town. He's not going to be back."

"What did you do?"

"I hit him a few times. Viktoria may have fractured his jaw. And Abe Mazur said some words after that. He'll live, but it's not something he's likely to forget anytime soon."

"Good. That's good."

It took a few minutes to get Sonya calmed down. It was clear that this all brought up some awful memories for her. And when Viktoria joined us, Sonya welled up again.

I looked up at Viktoria's entrance. There was no trace of the scantily clad, overdone, infatuated girl she'd been an hour ago. At the moment, she was freshly showered and dressed for bed, a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

Sonya jumped to her feet and threw her arms around Viktoria, blubbering a stream of apologies in Russian. Viktoria held her tight, kept her upright, and soon brought her back to the table where they sat close beside each other.

"Rose explained the situation," Karolina said. "Are you all right?"

Viktoria bit her lip. "No. But I will be." She rubbed at her hands. "I had to shower. I felt so dirty. And I'm going to burn that dress," she said, looking at me. I wasn't sure why, but it felt like maybe she wanted approval.

"You should," I agreed. "You don't need to dress up or show off for a guy. If he doesn't like you the way you are, the _normal _you, he's not worth your time. He doesn't deserve you."

Viktoria nodded.

"I meant what I said before. You handled yourself really well tonight."

"I'm a mess."

"You took the situation in stride and adapted. You waited until it was over before you broke down. It doesn't matter if you're a mess now. What matters is what you do next. You decide who you are. It's your choice."

She appeared to take comfort in my words. "Thank you, Rose. How did you know?"

"I've known a few assholes. You get used to spotting them. And he didn't make it too hard. The thing about guys like that is they're overconfident. Arrogant. They think they're in charge, that the world owes them, that they're untouchable. And then they get their ass handed to them, and shit changes real quick.

"The last asshole I let get close was named Jesse. He was a royal, and full of himself, but he was fun to flirt with. And I was easily distracted in those days. I'd just gotten back to school after two years out in the world and things were . . . chaotic. All I wanted was distractions. I met him in an upstairs lounge in my dorm and we were making out when Dimitri came looking for me.

"Dimitri and I had known each other three weeks. The first day we'd met he'd convinced them to let me stay at the school - and they'd put him in charge of training me and keeping me out of trouble. It was a lot of time together. When he found me and Jesse in the lounge . . . he was not impressed. He scared Jesse off, and gave me a talking to. And then we just talked. About our lives, about Ivan. After that, we started talking a lot more. All because he hunted me down to keep me away from some asshole."

"Everyone makes mistakes. It's how we learn. This is your lesson. Don't give in easy. Don't be so quick to trust. Be careful, every time. Don't fall for lines or charms or smiles. Hold onto your heart. Keep it safe from the assholes in the world who will break it. Love isn't a fling in a back room at a party. It's not romance. It's not a fairy tale. It's not pretty dresses and secret rendezvous."

"What is love then?" Viktoria asked, a kind of desperation in her, wanting something to believe in after having her heart crushed.

"Love is permanent. Constant. Something you can't get rid of no matter how hard you try. It makes you miserable. Drives you crazy. No matter distractions or distance, it stays with you. It keeps beating in your heart even after they're gone. It's that piece of you that never falters, willingly follows them straight into hell. Love is what you die for."

"Rose . . ." Viktoria reached out for my hand.

I took hers, gripping tightly. "And it's what you live for. More than food, water, or air. Love is what makes you whole. It's what makes you strong. It's knowing that someone exists who remembers who you are even when you forget, and shoves you back onto the right path no matter how many times you stray. Love never gives up. Love stands by your side through the very worst life can bring to bear. Love weathers any storm. Love survives anything. And there's nothing you can do about it."

"I love it here. I really do. This place . . . you don't know what it's meant to me just to be here, to be welcomed here, to relax for a little while. Thank you all for giving me that."

"You are welcome here," Olena assured me. "You can stay for as long as you like."

"Thank you. There's part of me that wants to stay forever. But I can't. This isn't where I'm meant to be. It's time for me to go."

"You are welcome here," she repeated. "Come back any time you want. You will always have a place, a home here with us."

"Thank you."

"I'll come with you," Viktoria whispered. "Wherever you're going, whatever you're doing next, I'll go. I'll be by your side."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. You can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I need you safe. And Dimitri would never forgive me for bringing you into danger." This time I didn't tell her that it was her life and her choice. I knew that it was a manipulation as bad as any of Abe's, but I had to do what I could.

Viktoria frowned at my reasoning. I knew she saw me as a peer - experienced and worldly, but still a girl her age. "But you're going?"

"I made him a promise. The same one he made me. That it was better to die than go on as a monster."

Eyes went wide around the table. "You're going to kill him," Viktoria said, her voice unwavering. To her, he was already gone. It was like Sydney had said: there was no in between.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"But . . . you loved him."

"Love," I corrected. "I love him. I will always love him. That's why I have to kill him. It's what he would want. The Dimitri I love would be grateful for it. Grateful that he won't remain the monster we fought to protect people from."

From her seat in the corner of the kitchen where she'd been knitting silently while the rest of us talked, Yeva spoke up. It wasn't in Russian. Her words were English, spoken clear and perfect, with as little accent as anyone. "It's about damn time," she said.

I gaped.

"You have been an utter disappointment, sitting around and moping. In my dreams you were a warrior. Full of greatness, burning like a star. You shone. And since you've been here you've done nothing. I was beginning to think you'd given up."

Pulling free of my shock, I managed, "I never break my promises."

"You must find him." She said it like a challenge.

It put me on edge, but I answered brusquely, "I intend to."

"How?" Karolina asked.

I shrugged. "I'm going to go to Novosibirsk with Denis and hunt Strigoi."

"And hope you find the Strigoi you seek?"

"If he's there, if he knows I'm looking for him, he'll come."

"Will he?"

"He'll be intrigued. And he'll want the challenge."

"Do you think you can win?"

"I spent months learning from him. I know him. I know how he fights. If there's anyone who can beat him, it will be me. He knows that." I sat back. "Denis said they're leaving at dawn. I should get going."

I said it calmly, not wanting there to be any tearful, drawn-out farewells. They seemed to grasp that, but it didn't prevent them from smothering me with hugs and helping me pack.

Olena packed me a couple meals, and the last of the black bread.

Viktoria thanked me about a thousand times, and insisted that I stay in touch. They had so much faith in me, believing that everything would turn out all right. I wasn't so sure, but I knew I had to try.

After the door closed behind me, I turned back for one more look at the house that had become a home for me. Then I headed off down the street, ready for whatever would come next.


End file.
